The Self-Destruction of America’s First Family

News & Politics

Holy dysfunctional family, Batman. What’s up with the Biden clan? They strike me as somewhat “trailer trashy,” and I would know.

Though I did not grow up or live in a trailer park, my parents lived in one for the last 20-ish years of their lives. I am no stranger to them and all the wacky hijinx offered by their residents. I’ve seen half-naked trailer park brawls, sometimes involving cops. I’ve watched rednecks do battle with weed wackers. I once dropped to the floor when a guy we called “Kentucky Dumba**” raised a gun at the cops who then righteously ventilated him with a fusillade of lead, (Kentucky Dumba** somehow survived).

FACT-O-RAMA! I’m technically not “white trash” as my parents did not rent, they OWNED their double-wide. Hence I consider myself, “caucasian debris.”

But if you want to see a real white trash family, meet the Bidens. These clowns wrote the book on trashy behavior.

Hunter is a self-absorbed junkie who can’t keep his pants on and has a stockpile of sex videos to prove it. Ashley Biden has numerous arrests under her belt, as well as a history of drug and alcohol-related arrests when she was younger, including trying to keep cops from breaking up a bar fight. She’s been to rehab as an adult. Then things get ugly, which you are about to see.

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Also, there is Uncle Frank Biden who refuses to pay a $1 million settlement to two women orphaned in a car accident involving a car Frank rented but was not driving at the time of the crash. He was in the passenger seat urging the drunk driver to speed.

FACT-O-RAMA! At least five members of the Biden family have been to rehab, some numerous times. Joe Biden once called substance abuse “a disease from mommy and me,” suggesting that Joe and Jill Biden have had substance abuse issues themselves.

But how did the Bidens get that way? Perhaps, as Hannibal Lecter once said, “Our Billy Hunter and Ashley weren’t born criminals, Clarice. They were made one through years of systematic abuse.”

When it comes to the Bidens, I’m telling you, someone did a number on these peckerwoods. Healthy families don’t have this much drama happening.

Hunter Biden was kicked out of the Navy for using cocaine. He has a long history of drug abuse, including crack, which as you know is about as ghetto a drug as one can find, a history you can actually watch because the narcissistic chawbacon can’t seem to hoover an 8-ball without recording it on video.

Hunter admitted to pouring through his carpet for more crack to smoke. He was kicked out of a fancy hotel for drug use. He filmed himself smoking crack, chugging booze, and “flogging Molly” in a deprivation tank a month after having Daddy send him $20k for detox. If that ain’t white trash, I’ll kiss your a**.

Then there is Hunter’s “sex addiction.” This toad has made enough drug-fueled sex videos to start his own amateur porn channel.

PORN-O-RAMA! Amateur porn is an adult film genre involving people too ugly to become porn “stars” but too emotionally damaged to quit trying.

A Democrat donor once described Hunter in the following way: “His negatives are that he is [an] alcoholic, drug addict — kicked [out] of U.S. Army for cocaine, chasing low class hookers, constantly needs money-liquidity problems and many more headaches.”

Reminder: Hunter was booted from the Navy, not the Army.

This was after Hunter asked for $2 million per year — plus success fees — for offering to unfreeze $15 billion in Libyan assets frozen by then-president Obama. How Hunter is not doing time for this is mind-boggling.

Related: If These Latest Revelations Aren’t Enough to Arrest Hunter Biden, Then Nothing Is

Ashley Biden has problems too, not just the aforementioned run-ins with law enforcement. She also has terrifying rehab stories. Her diary, confirmed to be real, mentions she too has a sex addiction problem, writing, “I’ve had one of my hardest days — my sex drive is out of f**king control. Like literally, I am in heat.”

In regard to rehab, Ashley also wrote she was “here for sexual trauma” and for drug abuse. In her diary, she writes about possible sexual abuse as a child that led to a hyper-active sex drive. She also wrote about “probably not appropriate” showers she and Joe Biden took together when she was a little girl.

“Was I molested. I think so, I can’t remember specifics but I do remember trauma,” Ashley wrote.

We see sex addiction in both Ashley and Hunter Biden. What causes that?

According to Psychology Today;

The causes of hypersexual behavior are not well understood. Some children or adolescents may engage in increased or developmentally inappropriate sexual behavior as a result of traumatic experiences, stressors, or mental illness. While there is no standard definition of hypersexuality in children, it is known that sexually abused children may display increased sexual behaviors and high-risk sexual behavior is associated with socio-demographic factors such as family dysfunction and social stress.

So both Ashley and Hunter have struggled with drug abuse and sex addiction. That doesn’t make them “white trash.” Plenty of people, including members of my family, have had battles with alcohol abuse.

Sure, when Hunter asked his daddy for $20,000 for a detox visit then sparked up the crack, that was kinda trashy. Also, all the naked videos of him plowing hookers is grotesquely vulgar. But how did Ashley and Hunter get so banged up? Was it the aforementioned “years of systematic abuse?” We probably will never know the ugly truth, but there is something few people seem to realize, something that needs to be looked at.

By every standard, Hunter is a loser. He began a drugged-up sexual relationship with his dead brother’s widow and her sister, which is a total trailer-trash move.

Most, if not all, of the money Hunter has “made” in the past 10 years has been allegedly selling his father’s influence. We know Hunter is angry that he has had to give his daddy half of his “paycheck.”

“I hope you all can do what I did and pay for everything for this entire family for 30 years,” Hunter whined to his daughter Naomi. “It’s really hard. But don’t worry, unlike Pop, I won’t make you give me half your salary.”

You’d think he would be grateful to the old man, but Hunter seems cranky, so cranky perhaps that he went on to do the unthinkable and “forget” a laptop full of evidence of alleged crimes that may lead to serious charges of bribery — or worse — against his father. The laptop was so damning that the FBI actually went to Twitter and told them to ban people discussing it, even the New York Post, which broke the story. The contents of the laptop are so appalling that fifty-one “intel officials” beclowned themselves for the Bidens and stated the laptop reeked of “Russian disinformation.”

The laptop is enough to finish Joe Biden’s tragic political career and take down some of his myrmidons as well. Then there is Ashley Biden’s diary.

Ashley, the daughter of one of America’s longest “serving” politicians somehow “forgot” her diary full of monstrous allegations against Joe Biden in a Florida rehab center. The “probably not appropriate” showers are repulsive to everyone. Then there is the suggestion of child sexual abuse.

How do two children of a famous politician almost simultaneously leave such damaging information for the world to find? Did they agree to leave the laptop and the diary, or were these things done independently? Were these mere accidents, or did their subconscious lead them to show their father as the miscreant he appears to be? I detect a lot of anger here from Ashley and Hunter.

In 34 years of being a traveling, sometimes hard-drinking standup comedian, I have occasionally left a suit jacket in a hotel room. I once forgot my computer cord in Bloomington, Ind. I have never left something that could send my father to prison. I have never left a diary that would repulse everyone who read it. Then again, I never had a father who took bribes and showered with my sister.

Related: Five Nauseating Reasons Why Joe Biden Is a Terrible Human Being

How and why Ashley and Hunter “forgot” appalling evidence of Gropey Joe’s alleged crimes against his country and daughter is beyond me.

But any way you slice it, the Biden family is pretty trashy.

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